I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Randomize
