My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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