Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
