At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Randomize