Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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