she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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