Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
