Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
