I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
