It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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