Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
