wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
