You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
