They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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