"it" just moved
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
This is the high leading the old right now
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
