My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
