Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize