Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
