Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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