Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
