On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
