i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Randomize
