so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
