I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
