He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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