I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
