he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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