Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
