I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
