someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize