you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize