This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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