god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He did a backflip because drugs
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