No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
