I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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