Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Sorry my hands just texted you
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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