Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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