shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
