woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
