I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
