do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize