Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
