Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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