PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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