Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
