let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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