so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
