I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
BRING THE BAGELS
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
