eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Well I just put wine in my tea
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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