So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
