Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize