shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
