my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
