She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
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