Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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