that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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