And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I want her autograph on my taint
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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