The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
The struggles of a small town man whore
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
