I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize