Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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