I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
