White coat. Heels.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
