win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
