Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Randomize
