You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
