Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

to do: lose virginity to hamster dance

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(785): View more from Kansas

He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms

Fav 12 1156 4055
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(214): View more from Texas

Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.

Fav 23 1738 4593
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(858): View more from California

while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go

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(505): View more from New Mexico

There is a pube in my fucking eyeball

Fav 15 1185 5504
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(580): View more from Oklahoma

You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.

Fav 37 9676 1869
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(605): View more from South Dakota

Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this

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(615): View more from Tennessee

Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?

Fav 2 501 671
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(912): View more from Georgia

Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.

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